TEM: University of New Mexico football player Julion Conley spends Thanksgiving behind bars and faces criminal charges after he was accused of beating up bouncers at a local nightclub in Albuquerque. Question: Doesn’t this guy know that you’re supposed to EAT stuffing at Thanksgiving–and not BEAT it out of individuals???……….TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1992 Philadelphia Eagles–who finished 11-5 under coach Rich Kotite–had three players on the team who rushed for more than 500 yards apiece. How many of these players can you name? Answer to follow……….Oh, regarding the Albuquerque bouncers mentioned above–my friend Mitzi makes a good point: “If the bouncers at that establishment were beaten up, could they perhaps be in the WRONG line of work?” Can’t disagree, Mitzi!……….If Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre had aged HALF as well as actress Jane Krakowski, his team would be a few games over .500 right now and coach Brad Childress would still have a job……….This week in sports history, December 7, 1968: Niagara guard Calvin Murphy sets an NCAA single-game scoring record (vs. Division I competition)–tallying 68 points during his team’s 118-110 victory over Syracuse. Murphy made 24 field goals and added 20 free throws while scoring 34 points in each half. The junior guard’s heroics broke the previous record of 66 points set by Washington & Lee’s Jay Handlan vs. Furman back in 1951……….Sure, I enjoy watching Division III basketball–as I attend most of the Eastern CT St. University (both men AND women’s) home games. What makes it even MORE enjoyable is that songs like Mountain’s “Mississippi Queen” and the Allman Brothers “Midnight Rider” are played over the P.A. system during timeouts. Yeah, my kinda music–even though I’m surrounded by co-eds that are still wet behind the ears………I used to think that a Roger Federer backhand was a pure thing of beauty; that all changed when I saw a recent preview of the upcoming Carmen Electra 2011 wall calendar. My goodness………If anyone out there can tell me what former Heisman Trophy winners Jason White, Eric Crouch, and Danny Wuerffel are up to these days, then you have WAY too much time on your hands……….Answer to trivia question: HERSCHEL WALKER (1,070), HEATH SHERMAN (583), and RANDALL CUNNINGHAM (549)……….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a college football game played last week, Northern Illinois destroyed Eastern Michigan 71-3; NIU accumulated 642 yards of total offense, scored TEN touchdowns, and held EMU to a total of just ELEVEN (11) yards passing. Yes, I definitely thought it was ugly–that is, until I saw the uniforms that the Oregon football team was wearing later that day during an impressive victory over Arizona……….Speaking of ugly, you soon may be able to look up that word in the dictionary and be directed to “see Manhattanville women’s basketball team performance vs. Eastern CT on 11/27/10.” Get this: The Valiants had a team total of just TWO assists in the entire first half and shot 12-53 from the field (23%) during this ‘laugher’–including 2-for-13 from 3-pt. range (15%). In addition, the Manhattanville team probably threw up about a dozen “air balls” during this 67-36 shellacking. Yeah, I give the Eastern CT defense SOME credit in this game–but I still say that this qualifies as flat-out ugly–if not totally GROTESQUE……….Happy birthday wishes go out to former NBA player Herman “Skeeter” Henry–who blows out 43 candles on December 8th. A native of Dallas who played his college ball at Oklahoma, Henry played just ONE season in the league–1993-’94 with the Phoenix Suns. Appearing in four games that season, Henry scored a total of just FOUR points–making it very easy to figure out his lifetime scoring average of 1.0 ppg. Hey, they ALL can’t be Connie Hawkins, right? Henry also played in the CBA and overseas during his professional playing days; best wishes, “Skeeter”……….Finally, condolences go out to the family of former Nebraska assistant football coach Dan Young–who died recently in Lincoln at the age of 69; he had been diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer this past July. Before retiring following the Cornhuskers’ 2002 season, Young spent two decades on Nebraska’s coaching staff–including 17 as the team’s co-offensive line coach; during his tenure, NU won a total of ten NCAA rushing titles. Young was very instrumental in Nebraska’s three national championships in four years during the 1990’s–often working with kickers and punters, too. He is survived by his fiance, Cathy, two children, as well as five grandchildren; may Coach Young rest in peace.