Abolish ANALytics

Aris Sakellaridis

The time has come to abolish ANALytics. What the world witnessed in Game 6 of the 2020 Fall Classic was the final straw. ANALytics destroyed any chance for what every fan wants to see, a Game 7!

If ANALytics was around back in the day, then New York Yankee Don Larsen would have been removed from his Game 5 start in 1956, after having retired 18 in a row. According to the geeks behind ANALytics, Larsen would have faced the batting order for a third time, and according to the computers, that’s a no-no!

Can you imagine St. Louis Cardinals manager Red Schoendienst coming out to the mound to remove Bob Gibson in Game 1 of the 1968 World Series, denying him the chance to pitch a 17 strikeout shutout. The famous “Gibson Glare” would have killed Schoendienst. What if the geeks shifted Willie Mays to play deeper? There wouldn’t have been “The Catch,” during Game 1 of the 1954 World Series.

What makes baseball the greatest game in the world is history making events that are talked about for decades. Events like Minnesota Twins’ Jack Morris’ heroic 10-inning complete game in Game 7 of the 1991 World Series. ANALytics is taking that away and the time is now to abolish it. No more defensive shifts, no more pitching changes, and take your launch angles and exit velocities back to Harvard. It has led to the demise of future memories.

ANALytics needs to apologize to Tampa Bay Rays’ pitcher Blake Snell before it exits the field. Snell’s exit from the game was a criminal act. It also needs to count its blessings that the notorious Billy Martin isn’t alive. Can you imagine if one of these ANALytic geeks approached Martin. Billy the Kid would have smashed the laptop over their head and given them two black eyes.

The honchos at the MLB headquarters need to ANALyze themselves and try to save the last few die hard fans that are left by abolishing ANALytics.

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