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Put it somewhere else but then decided it deserved its own thread

Weird Accidents and Injuries - Baseball

1. Former pitcher Phil Niekro injured his hand while shaking too hard.
2. Wade Boggs hurt his back putting on cowboy boots.
3. George Brett broke his toe running from the kitchen to see Bill Buckner hit on television.
4. Rick Honeycutt injured his wrist in the dugout while flicking sunflower seeds.
5. Former Texas pitcher Nolan Ryan was bitten by a coyote.
6. Mark Smith injured his hand by placing it inside an air conditioner to check why it wasn't working.
7. Steve Sparks tried to tear a phone book in half and dislocated his shoulder.
8. Terry Harper, who was in the on-deck circle, waved a runner home and dislocated his shoulder.
9. Tom Glavine broke a rib while throwing up airline food.
10. Ryan Klesko pulled up a muscle picking up his lunch tray and had to miss a couple of games.

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Charlie Hough broke his pinky finger while shaking hands.

Mickey Tettleton went on the DL with a severe case of athlete's foot - caused by tying his shoes too tight.

Jose Cardenal missed a game in 1972 because he was kept awake all night by crickets chirping in his hotel room.

Jose Cardenal missed a game in 1974, because he couldn't blink. He swore his eyes were stuck open.

Bob Feller scalded himself with 200-degree water after he lost control of the hose in a whirlpool. He scalded himself from the waste down, and couldn't do anything for a week.

Russ Davis missed a game after he slept wrong and awoke with a sore shoulder.

David Cone missed a start after getting bit by his mother-in-law's dog, a Jack Russell Terrier.

Sammy Sosa missed a game after sleeping wrong on his shoulder.

Jim Corsi slipped coming out of the shower and sprained his wrist. Corsi has poor eyesight, wasn't wearing contacts, and misjudged his step.

Bob Stanley missed a couple of games slipping down the stairs while taking out the trash.

Ken Griffey Jr. got a sore back lifting boxes.

Carlos Perez broke his nose in a car accident....as he was trying to pass the team bus.

Brian Anderson suffered nerve damage in his elbow after a cab ride.

Tony Gwynn missed a couple of games after he smashed his thumb in the door of his luxury car. While going to the bank.

Rickey Henderson missed several games because of frost- bite. In August.

Vince Coleman missed the 1985 World Series when he got rolled up in the tarp machine.

Pascual Perez missed a start in Atlanta when he circled the city for more than two hours searching for the exit ramp from Highway 285 to Fulton County Stadium.

Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while vomiting.

Twins farmhand David Foster was knocked out for the season when a lightning strike through a phone line zapped him while he was making a call.

Pitcher Steve Foster injured his shoulder knocking over milk bottles during a segment with Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show."

Wade Boggs missed several games after straining his back while pulling on his cowboy boots.

Paul Molitor dislocated a knuckle when it got stuck in another player's glove.

Milwaukee's Dave Nilsson missed part of this season with Ross River Fever, a mosquito-borne virus that annually affects 200 out of Australia's 17 million residents.

Twins general manager Terry Ryan required dozens of stitches when he was scouting a game and a bat flew out of the hitter's hands, sailed through a space in the backstop and struck him in the forehead.

Pitcher Jeff Juden had a start early in the 1994 season pushed back after getting an infection from a tattoo.

Outfielder Bret Barberie missed a game when he accidentally rubbed chili juice in his eye.

Ken Griffey Jr. missed a game after his protective cup slipped and pinched a testicle.

Doc Gooden missed a start when Coleman accidentally hit him with a golf club in the Mets' clubhouse.

Mark Portugal missed a start because of food poisoning from eating bad mahi-mahi.

Pitcher Steve Sparks dislocated his shoulder while tearing a phone book in half, as he was trying to emulate a motivational speaker.

Reliever Larry Anderson strained a rib muscle getting out of a Jucuzzi.

Pitcher Ted Power pulled a hamstring jumping off the bullpen bench to join a brawl.

Kent Hrbek missed the final 10 games of the 1990 season when he sprained an ankle while wrestling with a clubhouse attendant.

Florida's Randy Veres hurt his hand pounding on a hotelroom wall trying to get the people in the next room to quiet down.

Dennis Martinez injured his arm tossing his luggage onto the team bus. He was diagnosed with Samsonitis.

Chris Brown missed a game with a strained eyelid after sleeping on an eye a funny way.

Former Seattle shortstop Rey Quinones was unavailable as a pinch-hitter because he was in the clubhouse playing Nintendo.

Terry Harper (Atlanta, OF) injured his shoulder after giving another player a high five.

Greg Harris (Texas, pitcher) injured his shoulder trying to flick sunflower seeds into the stands from the bullpen.

Baltimore's Mark Smith was hurt when he stuck his hand in an air conditioner to see why it wasn't working properly.

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John Smoltz burned his chest while ironing a shirt that he was wearing.

Odiebe McDowell cut his finger buttering a roll at the Texas Ranger's welcome home luncheon.

Ricky Bones hurt his lower back getting out of a chair while watching TV in the clubhouse.

Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while vomiting.

Rick Honeycutt injured his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds in the dugout.

Chris Brown injured his eye by sleeping on his eye wrong.



Probably repeats in there....

LAS VEGAS DAVE

Houston Astros outfielder Hunter Pence reported to spring training Tuesday with bandages on both hands and both knees, unable to practice for a week.

What happened to him? Well, back at his Kissimmee, Fla., apartment complex, a sliding glass door lurked between his bathroom and the hot tub. And it nailed him. Pence explained how on his blog:

"Despite the assumptions, I wanted to let everyone know that I did not consume any alcohol that evening. I had just come home from dinner with some friends, and decided to jump in the hot tub to loosen up my muscles before bed. As we were walking out to the hot tub, I took about three steps toward the tub (leaving the door open behind me) and decided I needed to use the restroom before hopping into the hot water ... I did not realize that my friend had closed the door behind me.

"Because the ground was cold outside and I was barefoot, I turned around quickly to run inside. As I tried to hop inside from the step, I went straight through the glass door."

Major League Baseball features some of the greatest athletes in the world, but also some of the clumsiest people. Faulty hotel pillows have caused a myriad of injuries. Many ballplayers have lost fights with dugout water coolers. Some have strained their backs putting on socks, shoes or boots. Others suffered the same fate getting out of clubhouse reclining chairs.

In this case, Pence suffered multiple lacerations while joining the large fraternity of ballplayers wounded in freakish accidents. Here is our list of the Top 10 Weirdest Baseball Injuries:


Dangers of Arachnophobia
Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Glenallen Hill suffered toe and elbow cuts along with carpet burns on his knees during a nocturnal bout with arachnophobia in 1990.

"I have a phobia about spiders," Hill told reporters after reporting to work on crutches. "In the nightmare, I was trying to get away from spiders."

It was quite an active nightmare, since he bounced on a wall, broke a glass table and climbed stairs in his semi-conscious state. "When I woke up," Hill said, "I was on a couch and my wife, Mika, was screaming, 'Honey, wake up!'"

Like many of these stories, this seemed unbelievable. But Hill offered to give reporters a tour of his blood-splattered apartment.


Attack of the deadly tarp

Look out for that tarp Vince! (Tom Hauck / Getty Images)

St. Louis Cardinals outfielder Vince Coleman was minding his own business on the Busch Stadium field before Game 4 of the 1985 NLCS. A light rain fell. Soon, Coleman fell.

Unprovoked, the electronically operated tarp went after him. It rolled over his left leg and pinned him to the turf. Workers finally freed Coleman, but not before the speedy lead-off hitter suffered a postseason-ending knee injury.

"That tarp was a real man-eater," Coleman later quipped.


Bambi's revenge
Colorado Rockies infielder Clint Barmes did not — repeat, did NOT — break his collarbone riding an all-terrain vehicle during a 2005 trip to Todd Helton's spread.

"I cannot say it strongly enough — he did not get hurt riding an ATV," Helton said. "I was there. He never left my eyesight the entire time."

But Helton did serve Barmes a meal featuring venison during that visit, and he gave him a package of the deer meat to take home. Barmes was lugging that meat back home when he fell on some steps, causing injuries that required surgical repairs.


Price paid for Guitar heroics
When Detroit Tigers reliever Joel Zumaya developed a strained forearm during the 2006 season, the team's medical staff believed his excessive use of the "Guitar Hero" video game caused his problem.


Joel Zumaya: Part time pitcher, full time Guitar Hero (Dave Sandford / Getty Images)

But that diagnosis didn't dissuade Zumaya from rocking on in 2007.

"They had a tough time trying to find out what was wrong with my arm," Zumaya told the Detroit News, "and I told them I was playing this guitar game. I don't believe that's what it was, and to tell you the truth, I haven't stopped playing it. A lot of people have criticized me and told me, 'Joel, put it away.' But I'm still going to play it. Just not as often."

His hobby became a moot point after the 2007 season. Zumaya suffered a shoulder injury moving boxes at his parent's San Diego-area home as wild fires closed on.


Attack of the rogue protective cup
When Cincinnati Reds outfielder Ken Griffey Jr. suffered a lower abdominal strain, he offered a vivid description of the pain. "The best way I can describe it is it felt like somebody bungee jumped off my right (testicle)," Griffey told the Cincinnati Post.

He is an expert on painful nether-region injuries, since he once missed a game with bruised man fruit — caused by his protective cup pinching him during the fray.

Griffey is no stranger to odd injuries. He once suffered a broken hand while wrestling with his young children. On his yacht. In the Bahamas.


The perils of frostbite
When Rickey Henderson wanted out of Oakland in 1993, the A's traded him to the Great White North. There, he developed a case of frostbite.

But the damage occurred indoors, after Henderson fell asleep while wearing an ice pack. That forced him to miss three games at Fenway Park in August.


He-Man? No, he hurt
Milwaukee Brewers hurler Steve Sparks seemed poised to make the club in 1994. But then he attended a spring training motivational seminar. One of the visuals was a guy ripping phone books in half.

Of course, there is a trick to doing that. Sparks didn't know the trick. So when he attempted to tear a phone book in half himself, he tried to outmuscle the unwieldy object ... and dislocated his non-pitching shoulder in the process.


Attack of the airline food

Not even bad airline food could stop Tom Glavine. (Jonathan Daniel / Getty Images)

Violent vomiting can do bad things to the human body. Just ask Tom Glavine, who broke a rib while pitching for the Atlanta Braves.

Actually, he broke the rib while throwing up bad airline food. But good soldier that he is, he pitched on with the help of a pain-killing injection.

"Looking back, though, I don't know how smart it was but it got me through the game," Glavine said. "When I had the broken rib, it would knock me to my knees."

(By the way, John Smoltz, Glavine's long-time running mate, makes a lot of these top 10 lists for allegedly burning his chest while ironing a shirt while wearing it. He insists that never happened. "Ironing my shirt while it was on — that's the most absurd thing," Smoltz said in 1996. "It was made up. But it got on Arsenio Hall, CNN, everywhere. And what do you do to stop it?")


Attack of the microwaved doughnut
Like Glavine, outfielder Kevin Mitchell once got hurt while vomiting. Also, he accidentally put rubbing alcohol in his eye instead of eyewash. Supposedly he once missed a game with a strained eyelid, too.

But his most interesting injury came in 1990, when he showed up four days late for the San Francisco Giants spring training after needing emergency root canal surgery.

He put a frozen doughnut into a microwave oven and overcooked it — turning the breakfast treat into a lethal weapon.


The terror of too-sharp tongs

Advice for Matt Wise, Don't fight salad tongs — they hurt. (Jed Jacobsohn / Getty Images)

Big league ballplayers have stabbed and sliced themselves a variety of ways. It is traditional in our national pastime, like the seventh-inning stretch.

San Diego Padres pitcher Adam Eaton once jabbed himself in the stomach while using a knife to open a pesky DVD wrapper. Texas Rangers outfielder Oddibe McDowell sliced his hand while buttering a roll at the team's annual welcome luncheon.

These things happen. But the Brewers didn't expect to lose reliever Matt Wise in 2006 after he sliced his right middle finger on a part of salad tongs in the Kansas City clubhouse.

"At least it was something in my weight class," the wiry Wise told MLB.com.


Runner's up
Byron McLaughlin (hit hotel room mirror while practicing windup), Brian Anderson (burned his cheek in a hotel room while determining his iron was hot), A.J. Burnett (burned his pitching hand while ironing jeans), Mark Smith (stuck hand into a faulty air conditioner), Coco Crisp (hit by a reckless driver, Mariner Moose), Terry Mulholland (struck in the eye by hotel pillow feather), Dwight Gooden (struck in the face with golf club, swung by teammate Vince Coleman), Sammy Sosa (violent sneezing), Jeff Juden (infected tattoo), Brett Barberie (chili juice in his eye), Greg Harris (strained elbow, from flipping sunflower seeds in the bullpen), Marty Cordova (tanning lamp tragedy), Rich Harden (strained shoulder turning off his alarm clock), Kent Hrbek (sprained ankle while wrestling clubhouse attendant), Nolan Ryan (coyote bite), George Brett (broke a toe on a chair while running to the living room to see baseball on TV).

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Infielder Chris Brown missed a game because he "slept on his eye funny".

Pitcher Adam Eaton stabbed himself in the stomach as he was using a knife to open a DVD wrapper.

Sammy Sosa was disabled after a violent sneeze.

Pitcher Jeff Juden missed a start because a tattoo he got prior to the season opener got infected.

Reliever Randy Flores was put on the disabled list - while removing his socks after a game, a large patch of skin also came off.

DH Mickey Tettleton went on the disabled list with athlete's foot. The story is that he tied his shoes too tight.

Utility infielder Bret Barberie missed a game because he mistakenly rubbed chili juice in his eyes.

Pitcher Ricky Bones injured his lower back getting out of a chair while watching television in the clubhouse.

Outfielder Dustan Mohr strained his groin while trying to get out of the dugout for a celebration for another player's home run.

Reliever Larry Anderson strained a rib muscle jumping from the bench to join a brawl.

Shortstop Rey Quinones wasn't available as a pinch hitter as he was in the clubhouse playing Nintendo. (OK, it's not an injury, but it's pretty funny!)

Pitcher Mark Smith was injured when he stuck his hand into an air conditioner to see why it wasn't working.

Reliever Joey Eischen broke his arm jumping into the air to field a ground ball.

Shortstop Clint Barmes fell down some stairs and broke his collarbone. He was unable to break his fall because he was cradling a package of venison given to him from teammate Todd Helton.

Pitcher Greg Harris suffered a strained elbow flipping sunflower seeds while sitting in the bullpen.

Pitcher Randy Veres injured his hand pounding on the hotel room wall, trying to get the people in the next room to be quiet.

Third baseman Randy Johnson strained his back putting on his socks.

Pitcher Byron McLaughlin cut his right hand when he was practicing his windup in his hotel room. He was apparently too close to the mirror.

Catcher Brent Mayne missed an entire month in the 2002 season because he turned his head to check traffic as he was crossing the street - and wrenched his back.

Pitcher Steve Foster injured his shoulder at a taping of a segment for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno".

Speedster Rickey Henderson allegedly missed several games in August due to frostbite.

Outfielder Ken Griffey Jr. missed a game after his cup slipped and pinched a testicle.

Pitcher Oliver Perez went on the 15 day disabled list after breaking his toe while kicking a laundry cart in the visitor's clubhouse.

Outfielder Marty Cordova missed a game after he burned his face, spending too much time under a tanning lamp.

Jose Cardenal missed a game because he was kept awake all night by crickets chirping in his hotel room.

Pitcher Kenny Rogers dislocated his pinky finger (on his non-pitching hand) after punching out a water cooler.

Outfielder Glenallen Hill received cuts over much of his body after he fell out of bed onto a glass table. He was having a nightmare about being covered in spiders.

Pitcher Rich Harden strained his shoulder turning off his alarm clock.

Second baseman Jeff Kent claimed he hurt his wrist while washing his truck. Speculation is that he was injured in a motorcycle accident while doing tricks.

Infielder Paul Molitor dislocated a knuckle when it got stuck in another player's glove.

Pitcher Terry Mulholland scratched his eye on a feather that was sticking out of a pillow.

Hall of Fame pitcher Phil Niekro was injured while shaking hands.

Pitcher Doc Gooden missed a start when a teammate accidentally hit him with a golf club in the locker room.

Shortstop Jason Bartlett tore the nail off his left pinky while sliding his hand under the television in his room at the Ritz Carlton hotel in Detroit.

Shortstop Juan Castro hurt his neck on the pillow at the same Ritz Carlton hotel in Detroit.

Infielder Kent Hrbek sprained an ankle wrestling with a clubhouse attendant, forcing him to miss the final ten days of the season.

Famed outfielder Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while vomiting.

Kevin Mitchell also was hurt by a microwaved donut. Supposedly eating this led to his needing a root canal.

Pitcher Pascual Perez missed a game in Atlanta because he couldn't find the correct exit ramp on the freeway. OK, it's not an injury, but it's pretty funny!

Wade Boggs hurt his back putting on his cowboy boots.

Pitcher Mike Remlinger missed 15 days because he broke his left pinky in a clubhouse recliner.

Reliever Steve Sparks dislocated his shoulder while trying to tear a phone book in half.

Pitcher Carlos Perez broke his nose in a car accident - he was trying to pass the team bus at the time.

John Smoltz burned his chest while ironing the shirt he was wearing.

Outfielder Oddibe McDowell sliced his hand while buttering a roll at the annual "Welcome Luncheon" held by the Texas Rangers.

Pitcher Charlie Hough broke his finger shaking hands.

Nolan Ryan missed a start after being bitten by a coyote.

Shortstop Bobby Crosby cracked two ribs while swinging the bat during opening day practice.

Outfielder Terry Harper separated a shoulder after high-fiving a teammate.

Outfielder Vince Coleman missed the entire 1985 World Series after being rolled up in the tarp machine at Busch Stadium.

Pitcher David Cone missed a start because his mother-in-law's Jack Russell Terrier bit him.

Hall of Famer George Brett broke a toe on a chair when he was running from the kitchen to the living room to see baseball on TV.

Future Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn missed several games because he smashed his finger in the door of his luxury car, on the way to the bank.

Pitcher Carlos Zambrano was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome after spending as many as five hours daily on the Internet.

Red Sox rookie Clarence Blethen thought he looked older and meaner if he took his false teeth out when he pitched. He forgot to put them back in his mouth when he was batting. While sliding into second base to break up a double play, his own teeth bit himself in the butt.

Gregory Gewirtz

Homer at the Bat

In his office, Burns gloats that there's no way he could lose his bet.

Mr. Burns: "Unless, of course, my nine all-stars fall victim to nine separate misfortunes and are unable to play tomorrow. But that will never happen. Three misfortunes, that's possible. Seven misfortunates, there's an outside chance. But nine misfortunes? I'd like to see that!"

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metman

"9. Tom Glavine broke a rib while throwing up airline food."

LMAO!!

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SHUT Your FESTERING GOB...You TIT!

metman

"Outfielder Glenallen Hill received cuts over much of his body after he fell out of bed onto a glass table. He was having a nightmare about being covered in spiders."

Awesome. Just a great ****ing thread.

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SHUT Your FESTERING GOB...You TIT!

BigMouthBillyBass

I still refer to it as "the Homer Simpson play" when a player gets plunked with the bases loaded to force in a run. Like when Schoeneweis drilled Paul McAnulty the other night.

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So, you're telling me that when you bring the Mets' bullpen into the game, Met fans shriek, they turn red, and they die? That is the most metal thing I have ever heard.

Mojo

This thread could really take off. Paulie? KO? LGM? Where are you guys?

Ramon Castro misses several games due to eye irritation from pepper spray.

David Wright experiences back spasms due to white man's burden.

Carlos Beltran suffers sore glute muscles from lounging.

Carlos Delgado misses remainder of season due to shrapnel wounds.

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Originally Posted by ilpadrino78

lgm6986

Hahahaha.

lgm6986

Omar Minaya:

Dislocated shoulder/strained index finger suffered while simultaneously patting himself on the back and pointing at Willie Randolph.

Mojo

Very nice.

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Originally Posted by ilpadrino78

The Infamous Coworker

You'll be funny by Saturday, Sunday at the latest.

graves9

You know I laughed when I saw your name but have been disappointed by your posts. Be funnier and get more perseptive damn you.