 Listen...
I don't normally do this, but I am asking everyone to put away the razor blades, relax the knot a little bit, maybe even step off the chair under the chandelier.
It is time to try and reach for some demented mojo for our beloved brethren in mystical misery the Mets.
This team for whatever reason was able to play +.600 ball under the spector of Ronaldo.
Then Ronaldo went away, retired if you will, first there was the little girl and that went horrible.
Then the nasty foot came late in the summer and things seemed to perk up a bit.
Then all the sudden we are subjected to all these runts smoking butts and it is in the shitter again.
I am not sure which way the evidence is clear, whether guys with holes in their throat and sawed off feet bring a swell of positive aura, or kids whining about and or smoking in diapers are just flat out demonic little gnomes of horror and loss.
Either way, I ask you to rise up!!! Get out your photoshop, your ms paint!, whatever your favorite tool of manipulation is and plug into our dear and under ad served friend Ronaldo!!!
Do it for Ronaldo, who can't a swim anymore, who can't a live his dream of being an umpire, who has to be checked for recurring cancer something like four times a year.
Bring out Ronaldo or bring out your dead.
*This was a public service message of the New York State bridge jumpers hotline, it is better to die slowly from smoking than to jump off a bridge. |