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Lazzari’s Sports Roundup

Bob Lazzari — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 17:23:51 +0000

Congrats go out to Derby High (CT) wrestling coach Walter “Buster” Jadach–who will be inducted into the CT chapter of the National Wrestling Hall of Fame on April 10th at Foxwoods Resort and Casino. Jadach has been coaching at DHS for almost 30 years and has won more matches than any other coach in state history. His teams have won four Class S state titles; during a four-year stretch from 1999-2002, Jadach’s teams went a staggering 96-2-1. Jadach was the CT High School Coaches Association coach of the year in 1999 and one of eight finalists for national coach of the year in 2007. Well done, “Buster”……….TRIVIA QUESTION: In the history of the Los Angeles Clippers, what player has converted the most three-point field goal attempts? Answer to follow……….Gotta love the headline in last weekend’s New York Post–after Gatorade ended its endorsement relationship with Tiger Woods: Tiger Just Can’t Hold His Drink……….Question: When Andy Roddick loses a tennis match, does anyone REALLY feel sorry for him–seeing that he has Sports Illustrated cover girl/wife Brooklyn Decker waiting for him at home?……….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a CT girls high school basketball game (ECC tournament) last week, Windham annihilated Tourtellotte 79-21. The score at halftime? 50-4 in favor of Windham. What do I say at intermission if I’m the coach of the losing squad? This: “Shall we make a break for the exits NOW–or will we cause some alarms to go off?”……….This week in sports history, March 9, 1971: The Chicago Bulls put an end to the Milwaukee Bucks’ NBA-record 20-game winning streak–defeating them 110-103 in overtime at Chicago Stadium. Bob Love led the Bulls with 23 points; however, it was Bob Weiss who scored six points in overtime to seal the victory for Chicago. Milwaukee–who was led by Lew Alcindor with 39 points–had not lost since February 6th. The N.Y. Knicks had possessed the previous consecutive win streak record–having won 18 games in a row during the 1969-’70 season……….Good cause: A “March Madness” Dinner and Raffle is slated for April 3rd at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield; it will raise funds for the Browning Scholarship–which provides financial assistance to needy students (including former high school athletes) at both SHU and the University of Bridgeport. More info can be obtained by calling (203)261-6709……….The “Unwatchable NBA” Update: In a recent game played at Madison Square Garden, the Bucks defeated the Knicks 83-67; New York scored a GRAND TOTAL of just 26 points in the entire second half of this disaster. Just HOW pitiful is that? The orange section/”nosebleed” seats at MSG carry a higher number dollar-wise than the amount of points the Knicks scored in the second-half that evening……….The Connecticut Sports Writers’ Alliance will honor New England prep hockey fixture John Gardner of Avon Old Farms, former high school/college coach Joe Benanto, former Westbrook High boys and girls basketball coach Pete Shuler, and UConn legend Scott Burrell of Hamden with coveted Gold Key Awards at the 69th Annual Gold Key Dinner on April 25th; it will take place at 4:30 PM at the Aqua Turf Club in Southington. Tickets can be obtained by mailing a check for $75 to Gold Key Dinner/CSWA, P.O. Box 70, Unionville, CT 06085. Any other questions, please contact Alliance VP Matt Conyers at (860)874-4166……….Answer to trivia question: ERIC PIATKOWSKI–who made a total of 738 three-pointers as a member of the Clippers between 1994 and 2003……….Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league infielder Mack Neal “Shooty” Babbit–who blows out 51 candles on March 9th. A native of Oakland, Babbit played only one season in the “bigs”–1981–with his hometown A’s. He began his career with a seven-game hitting streak, but ended up playing in only 54 major league games as a second baseman. He later did some major league scouting and has also done some broadcasting work for the A’s; best wishes, “Shooty”……….Finally, condolences go out to the family of former college basketball coach Dana Kirk–who died recently after suffering a heart attack; he was 74. A former assistant at Louisville, Kirk coached Memphis State to a Final Four appearance in 1985 (later vacated due to NCAA rules violations); in seven years at Memphis, Kirk compiled a record of 158-58. Sadly, he was let go after the 1986 season prior to being indicted on income tax evasion charges. Yes, Dana Kirk may not have stayed on the straightest of paths throughout his working life, but he surely loved to coach basketball–and he did THAT very well. Rest in peace, “Coach.”

“Tales Of The Philandering Woods”

Bob Lazzari — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 01:48:53 +0000

An SUV crashes during the wee morning hours,
It struck a lone hydrant–near some shrubs and some flowers.
The most famous of “Tigers” had been found at the scene,
Windows were smashed–and it was FAR from serene.
The rumors would fly–as to why he fled home,
It became a news story from Orlando to Rome.
There were rumblings ’round town that this Tiger was cheating,
And his wife grew perturbed during a face-to-face meeting.
The stories were sketchy–was he hurt or just dazed?
A few days would pass–many questions were raised.
Some say that Elin had chased after her spouse,
When convinced that this “cheetah” was a philandering louse.
Did his wife smash his window–was she filled with pure rage?
Was it an 8 or a 9-iron–was it used at Bethpage?
It was early December as the affairs came to light,
It surely seemed Tiger was SO BUSY at night!
He scored OFF the course and without using clubs,
Did he meet any conquests at resorts or at pubs?
There were escorts and waitresses and the numbers kept growing,
There were photos of Elin–her devastation was showing.
In the eyes of his wife–could it get any worse?
Did he cheat with a bartender, a teacher, a nurse?
It may be awhile before this Tiger says “Fore!”
Will his lovely wife Elin show Eldrick the door?
My question to Tiger–as I continue this poem,
Is HOW COULD YOU CHEAT–with such a beauty at home?
He lost some endorsements–other sponsors cared less,
They just turned their heads amid this scandalous mess.
The mistress-list grew–could it be twenty or thirty?
A man with THOSE numbers is a tad more than “flirty.”
He admitted to cheating–he’d take a break from the links,
And then entered rehab to see qualified “shrinks.”
He was called a philanderer, a “player”, a fraud,
Those scratches on his face–did this Tiger get clawed?
Last Friday he spoke–it was prepared and contrived,
The mood was quite somber–no one was “high-fived.”
Some fellow rehabbers said that Tiger’s sincere,
Will he play at The Masters? That’s still so unclear.
He said he was sorry–that he disappointed us all,
In front of a crowd that was hand-picked and so small.
His Mom was in front–so was Notah Begay,
The whole world listened; HOW much would he say?
There were no excuses–which would have surely been lame,
He’s a full-vested member in the Golf Hall of Shame.
He thanked all his friends–said he needs some restraint,
As we continued to realize that this Tiger’s no saint.
He said, “Character and decency are really what count,”
But will his stockpile of women continue to mount?
He pleaded for the press to leave his family alone,
As he goes for more treatment in an attempt to atone.
His caddie Steve Williams says he’ll protect the star player,
But with any more scandals, Steve will only get grayer.
Some more questions to come–just WHEN will he play?
Will there be any MORE women who’ll cause Tiger to stray?
I’m sure he’ll return and once again be a force,
But I hope all his ’scoring’ is done ON the golf course.
I feel for his kids–whose Dad’s a known cheater,
I hope they’ll have role models like Gandhi or Jeter.
In all seriousness, I want Tiger to be healthy,
We already KNOW that he’ll always be wealthy.
His ego is HUGE–may have caused all this mess,
It’s a part of his rehab that I HOPE he’ll address.
To walk a straight path will test his recuperative powers,
Will he kiss Elin’s feet and then send her some flowers?
I hope treatment works, the man’s future’s at stake,
Even if we assume that his apologies are fake.
I hope he returns as a totally-changed man,
I think that’s the hope of most every golf fan.
But as I digress and put this humor aside,
Golf is just not the same without Tiger in stride.

Lazzari’s Sports Roundup -2-22-10

Bob Lazzari — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:13:29 +0000

Congratulations go out to Eastern CT State University athletes Stephanie Norell and Brittany Whiteley (both juniors)–co-recipients of the 2010 Holly Zimmerman Memorial Award (Holly–a former ECSU athlete–passed away in 1993). The award is given yearly to individuals who’ve made significant contributions to the school’s athletic program and possess Holly’s qualities of determination, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. Norell possesses a 3.95 GPA and has been a three-year member of the soccer team. Whiteley–co-captain of the basketball squad–has played three years for the Warriors and has been a member of the LEC academic honor roll. Terrific work, ladies………TRIVIA QUESTION: When the Philadelphia Flyers won the Stanley Cup in 1975, who was the team’s leading goal-scorer that season? Answer to follow……….All I’ll say about the 2010 SI Swimsuit Issue is THIS: Page 164, fellas–PAGE 164……….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a CT high school girls basketball game last week, Bacon Academy battered New London 90-24. Just HOW bad was this fiasco? The winning team–presumably with its foot off the accelerator–outscored its overmatched opponent 30-7 in the final quarter. I’m just wondering if the New London coach was content to keep the opponent under the century mark–or extremely despondent that the losing squad’s point output just BARELY toppled the frigid temps outside the gymnasium that evening……….ITEM: Troubled wide receiver Matt Jones signs with the Cincinnati Bengals; the team reportedly is also interested in the services of “Mr. Suspension”–Adam “Pacman” Jones. Sheesh–regarding this team’s recent off-the-field history: Where will they look to next when it comes to possible signings–the walls of the nearest post office?……….I used to think that ex-pitcher Nolan Ryan did age-defying things while he was in his 40’s–that is until I came across a picture of a bikini-clad Jennifer Aniston the other day celebrating her 41st birthday in Cabo San Lucas……….This week in sports history, February 23, 1960: With former Dodger players, officials, and fans in attendance, Ebbets Field is met with a wrecking ball–beginning the ten-week dismantling of one of baseball’s most famous ballparks. Built in 1913 by Charles Ebbets, the building was abandoned back in 1958 when the Dodgers bolted for the west coast; the team had won nine pennants and one world championship while in Brooklyn. An interesting fact is that the white wrecking ball had stitches painted on its sides–thus resembling a baseball. Former players such as Ralph Branca, Roy Campanella, and Carl Erskine were introduced during a pre-demolition ceremony……….A sign that you’re getting OLD: I was at the Eastern CT/UMASS-Dartmouth basketball game last week in Willimantic when Mountain’s “Mississippi Queen” was played over the P.A. system during a time-out. The problem? I remembered when that song was released in 1970–which was approximately 20 years BEFORE a majority of the people present in the gym that day were even BORN……….Answer to trivia question: REGGIE LEACH–who tallied 45 goals for Fred Shero’s Flyers that season as the team won its second consecutive Stanley Cup……….Happy birthday wishes go out to former NHL player Tim Young–who blows out 55 candles on February 22nd. A native of Scarborough, Ontario who played center, Young spent ten seasons in the league between 1975 and 1985 with the North Stars, Jets, and Flyers; he tallied 195 goals and 341 assists for a career total of 536 points. Young’s best season came during the 1976-’77 campaign while in Minnesota when he scored 29 goals while assisting on 66 others; he was named to play in the NHL All-Star Game that season. Injuries took their toll on Young late in his career as he played in a total of just 64 games with Winnipeg and Philadelphia between 1983 and 1985; best wishes, Tim……….Finally, condolences go out to the family of former college basketball coach Bud Millikan–who passed away recently at the age of 89. Millikan coached at Maryland for 17 seasons between 1950 and 1967–compiling a record of 243-182. Bud’s Terrapin team won the ACC title and reached the NCAA Elite Eight during the 1957-’58 season–a year in which Maryland finished sixth in the nation in the final rankings. Known for graduating his players and focusing on defense, Millikan coached current Terps coach Gary Williams (a point guard) from 1964-1967; to this day, Williams gives Millikan tons of credit for providing him the inspiration necessary to become a head coach at the college level. May Coach Bud Millikan rest in peace.

Lazzari’s Sports Roundup – 2-21-10

Bob Lazzari — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 13:04:18 +0000

The “Unwatchable NBA” Update: During a 91-81 loss to Atlanta last week, the Chicago Bulls shot 0-for-10 from three-point range. I’m just wondering what the father of a young Bulls fan tells his kid after the game when the child remarks, “Gee, Daddy–couldn’t they have made just ONE for me tonight?”…….TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1995-’96 Philadelphia Flyers–who finished first in the NHL’s Atlantic Division– were led in points by Eric Lindros with a total of 115. However, Lindros did NOT lead the team in goals scored that season; can you name the player who did? Answer to follow…….ITEM: The Miami Dolphins have placed a statue of Don Shula in front of the team’s new stadium in recognition of his NFL-record 347 victories. As of press time, there is absolutely NO truth to the rumor that the team also plans honor RB Ricky Williams by placing a bronzed cannabis plant not far from the Shula remembrance……….I came across a picture of lovely actress Cameron Diaz the other day practicing yoga at her Caribbean villa. Sheesh–and I used to think that watching WR Lance Alworth run a pass route was a thing of beauty…….Call me skeptical, but I’m placing an over/under # of 200 in regard to the combined games to be played by Carlos Beltran and Jose Reyes of the NY Mets this coming season…….This week in sports history, February 16, 1972: In a game played in Phoenix, Lakers center Wilt Chamberlain scores the 30,000th career point of his illustrious basketball career; however, Phoenix comes away with a 110-109 victory when “Wilt the Stilt” is called for goaltending of a Connie Hawkins shot with just three seconds remaining. Ironically, Chamberlain’s milestone basket came on a goaltending call, too–when Neal Walk tried to block one of Wilt’s attempts during the third quarter. Chamberlain finished the game with 19 points as Los Angeles lost for only the ninth time in 60 games…….ITEM: Tiger Woods and his wife Elin Nordegren seem to have reunited after his short stay at a sex-addiction clinic. Question: Wasn’t this the same woman who–just a few weeks back–had hired a top divorce lawyer and was ready to run for the hills at the time? Call me cynical, but could something green that’s made out of paper have anything to do with “coloring” her sudden change of heart? Nahhhhhhhh–shame on me…….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a CT boys high school basketball game played last week, Windsor annihilated South Windsor 110-48; the winning squad outscored its overmatched opponent 35-6 in the third quarter of this laugher. If I’m the coach of the losing team, I use some comforting humor when addressing my players after the game and offer this: “Good news and bad news, guys. The good news is that you played very competitively in the fourth quarter tonight–being outscored 16-15. The BAD news is that a 62-point loss usually results in accelerated alopecia for coaches–which your biology teachers know better as RAPID HAIR LOSS…….Answer to trivia question: JOHN LeCLAIR–who led the Flyers that year with a total of 51 goals…….Happy birthday wishes go out to former NBA player Martin “Marty” Nessley–who blows out 45 candles on February 16th. An Ohio native who played at Duke, Nessley played only ONE NBA season–splitting the 1987-’88 campaign with the Clippers and the Kings. Yes, the 7′2″ center scored 48 points in 44 games during his brief career–thus retiring with a 1.1 ppg average. Hey–they all can’t be Kareem, right? Best wishes, Marty…….Finally, condolences go out to the family of former NFL player/broadcaster Tom Brookshier–who died recently of cancer in Pennsylvania at the age of 78. A native of New Mexico who played at Colorado, Brookshier joined the Eagles as a defensive back in 1953 and played with the team for seven seasons; he intercepted 20 passes during his career and helped lead the team to the 1960 NFL championship. Brookshier is one of seven Eagles to have his number (40) retired. He later teamed with Pat Summerall as CBS’s top broadcasting duo–working three Super Bowls together. Personally, I’ll always remember Brookshier for his straightforward, unforced commentary as I grew to love football during the 70’s. Brookshier is survived by his wife, Barbara, daughters Betsy and Linda, a son–Thomas Jr.–and a granddaughter. May Tom Brookshier rest in peace.

Lazzari’s Sports Roundup – 02-10-10

Bob Lazzari — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:21:43 +0000

I’ll say it once again (and this tidbit warrants being mentioned WEEKLY in this column for as long as it runs): Roger Federer’s record of reaching 23 straight Grand Slam tennis semifinals is at the TOP of the heap when it comes to ANY major sports record/milestone. Need a little more proof–besides the recent, unfathomable #23? This: Former tennis greats Rod Laver and Ivan Lendl are in second place with a total of TEN apiece (remarkable itself). Yes, simply amazing……….TRIVIA QUESTION: In December of 1983, the Detroit Pistons beat the Denver Nuggets 186-184–the highest-scoring game in NBA history. Four players (two from each team) scored more than 40 points apiece during the game; can you name any of these individuals? Answer to follow……….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a CT girls high school basketball game last week, Prince Tech dismantled University 62-11; the score at halftime was 38-4 and University did NOT score in the second quarter. Question: Does the University coach look at the 24-7 second half score as a moral victory–or tear up the locker room knowing that two different Prince players outscored the entire University team by THEMSELVES?……….This week in sports history, February 9, 1991: In a lopsided 12-round decision, WBC junior middleweight champion Terry Norris batters former champion Sugar Ray Leonard in a fight held at New York’s Madison Square Garden. The 23-year-old Norris sent Leonard to the canvas in the second and seventh rounds while working Leonard over with a variety of punches. Leonard–who was fighting for the first time in a year–formerly held the welterweight, junior middleweight, and middleweight titles at various times throughout his storied career……….ITEM: QB Kurt Warner announces his retirement at the age of 38. A future Hall of Famer? Absolutely. Here’s a guy who threw for over 32,000 yards, was the fastest player in NFL history to 10,000 yards, and has the top three passing performances in Super Bowl history. He also led two different teams to Super Bowls; he and Fran Tarkenton remain the only NFL quarterbacks to throw for 100 touchdowns and 14,000 yards for two teams. Yes, we all know about his circuitous route to the NFL–Arena League days, etc. But I’ll always remember the guy as a true CLASS ACT–a man of deep faith who will walk away from $11.5 million that he’s due next year. Very refreshing, Kurt–and thanks for being YOU……….The “Unwatchable NBA” Update: In a game played in Detroit last week, the Heat beat the Pistons 92-65; Detroit scored a GRAND TOTAL of just 25 points in the second and third quarters COMBINED. Rumor has it that, following the game, Piston officials wanted to distribute Compazine to the many fans in attendance in order to combat severe nausea and vomiting; they later thought better of it after finding out that it is a prescription medication……….Answer to trivia question: ISIAH THOMAS (47) and JOHN LONG (41) for Detroit; KIKI VANDEWEGHE (51) and ALEX ENGLISH (47) for Denver……….Happy birthday wishes go out to former NBA player Abdul Jeelani–who blows out 56 candles on February 10th. Born Gary Cole in Bells, Tennessee, Jeelani has the distinction of scoring the first points in Dallas Mavericks franchise history back in 1980; he also had the Mavs’ best individual scoring effort that season when he tallied 31 vs. Boston. He had previously played with the Trail Blazers and later played overseas in Italy and Spain. Jeelani is a charter member of the University of Wisconsin-Parkside’s Athletic Hall of Fame; best wishes, Abdul……….Finally, condolences go out to the family of former ballpark organist Jane Jarvis–who died recently in New Jersey at the age of 94. Jane was Shea Stadium’s “Queen of Melody” from 1964 to 1979; she had begun her career as a jazz pianist and had formerly played for the Braves at County Stadium in Milwaukee. Those of us lucky to have been to Shea during her tenure were always treated to an unforgettable, eclectic musical style. Tony DeAngelo, my co-host on CTV-14’s “Monday Night Sports Talk,” summed up Ms. Jarvis’ legacy this way: “She was NOT a sports fan, but simply a musician who had an extra job playing at a ballpark and a stadium club at night. But yet, she had an incredible gift of playing the right music at the right time during a game. When Seaver took the mound, it was ‘Mr. Wonderful’–Tug McGraw, the ‘Irish Jig.’ And if the Mets won a game in extras, it was ‘We Just Couldn’t Say Goodbye.’ Finally, there was no greater feeling than sitting in your seat when the game ended with the scoreboard blinking–with Jane playing exit music; it was mostly soft stuff–like ‘Smile’ or ‘My Reverie.’ Quite frankly, she was the music of the Mets’ life back then.” Amen, Tony; may the “Queen of Melody”–Jane Jarvis–rest in peace.

Lazzari’s Sports Roundup

Bob Lazzari — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 22:50:22 +0000

The “Unwatchable NBA” Update: In a game played in Charlotte last week, the Bobcats dismantled the Heat 104-65; Miami shot a putrid 22-for-76 from the floor (29%). The topper? This included the Heat shooting a pathetic 2-for-23 (9%) from three-pt. range. Yes–somewhere, Steve Kerr is weeping, folks…….TRIVIA QUESTION: The lowly 1990-1991 Miami Heat–who finished 24-58 under coach Ron Rothstein–were led in scoring by a former Big East player. Can you name this individual? Answer to follow…….ITEM: Following a year in which he won 12 games for the Phillies, pitcher Joe Blanton signs a 3-year, $24 million dollar extension. Again, at least when it comes to modern-day baseball, mediocrity breeds BUCKS…….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a girls high school basketball game played here in CT last week, Career annihilated North Haven by a score of 78-18. I’m just wondering if the losing coach is a TRUE optimist and complimented the squad on their consistency after the game: yes, they scored nine points in each half……This week in sports history, February 1, 1987: In a marathon NBA contest, the Golden State Warriors beat the New Jersey Nets in FOUR overtimes–150-147–in a game played in Oakland. Golden State was led by Joe Barry Carroll’s 43 points and 24 rebounds; Sleepy Floyd–who set an NBA record by playing 64 minutes–chipped in with 29 points for the Warriors while Chris Mullin added 25. It was the seventh quadruple overtime game in league history and the first in three years…….Can you imagine if singer Courtney Love married contemporary artist Jim Shack? Fans of a popular tune by the B-52’s would surely delight in her full married name of Courtney Love Shack…….Yes, an additional meaning of the word “ugly” should be added to the dictionary immediately–this one related to college basketball: My alma mater, Fordham, is 9-61 against ranked teams since the AP weekly poll started in 1948. Ughhhhhhhh…….I don’t know about you folks, but I want either Wade Phillips or Norv Turner–who both lost recent NFL playoff games but kept their jobs–to purchase my next set of lottery tickets…….Hubie Brown–commenting on ESPN last week about the length of a successful three-point attempt by the Lakers’ Kobe Bryant while he was playing at Madison Square Garden: “That one came from the MEADOWLANDS.”…….As I’ve said before, I consider a Ray Allen jump shot a thing of pure beauty. But Jennifer Aniston and the dress she wore at the recent Golden Globes elevated the word “beauty” to an ENTIRELY different level…….Answer to trivia question: SHERMAN DOUGLAS–a Syracuse product who averaged 18.5 ppg along with 8.5 assists per contest…….Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league infielder Buddy Biancalana–who blows out 50 candles on February 2nd. A native of California, Buddy played a total of six seasons in the “bigs” between 1982 and 1987 as a member of the Royals and Astros–hitting just .205 lifetime in 311 games. Biancalana CAN claim fame to this: he was the starting shortstop for the Royals in all 14 postseason games in 1985–playing errorless ball while helping the team to a World Series victory over the Cardinals. Yes, he MAY have been associated with the famed “Mendoza Line” for his lack of offense, but he can always show off his World Series ring at the local pub. Best wishes, Buddy…….Finally, condolences go out to the family of former college basketball coach Dan Fitzgerald–who died recently in the state of Washington after collapsing in a restaurant; he was 67. He began his coaching career at Archbishop Mitty High School (1969-’71) and was named California’s high school coach of the year in 1970. A San Francisco native, Fitzgerald built Gonzaga into a national power while coaching that program from 1978 to 1997; he compiled a 252-171 record there and also served as the school’s athletic director. At Gonzaga, he recruited John Stockton and took the ‘Zags’ to their first NCAA tournament in 1995. May Dan Fitzgerald rest in peace.

Lazzari’s Sports Roundup – 1/28/10

Bob Lazzari — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 18:59:33 +0000

Without question, the performance by Arizona Cardinals QB Kurt Warner in the recent playoff game vs. Green Bay was one of the most impressive in postseason history. Here’s why: The man had MORE TD passes (5) than INCOMPLETIONS (4). Final numbers: 29/33 for 379 yards and NO interceptions; simply phenomenal………TRIVIA QUESTION: The lowly 1987-’88 Los Angeles Clippers–who finished 17-65 under coach Gene Shue–were led in scoring by a former N.Y. Knicks player. Can you name this individual? Answer to follow……….For some reason, I’m still having WAY too much fun pronouncing the full name of Dallas Cowboys defensive lineman Igor Olshansky……….Of all the quotes made about baseball’s “Steroid Era,” former player Jack Clark’s recent words to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch were by far the best. After calling guys like A-Rod, Palmeiro, Clemens, Bonds, and Sosa “fakes” and “phonies,” Clark added this gem: “They should all be in the Hall of Shame; they can afford to build it.”……….Yeah, Brett Favre played well during the Vikes’ thrashing of Dallas last weekend, but I still believe the highlight of that game was Sidney Rice’s body-bumping of the Vikings mascot after his first TD catch……….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a girls high school basketball game played here in CT last week, Windham Tech annihilated University 61-12; the winning squad outscored its overmatched opponent 29-2 in the second half of this fiasco. Interesting to note is that victorious Windham Tech was only 5-5 coming into the game, but perhaps more noteworthy is that lowly University had actually WON two games previously. My first thought was perhaps they had included two pre-season intra-squad scrimmages in their overall win total……….This week in sports history, January 26, 1980: At a track meet in Auckland, New Zealand, 21-year-old American Mary Decker runs away from the pack while lowering the world record in the women’s mile to 4:21.7. Decker, who had won gold at the previous summer’s Pan Am games, was 100 meters ahead of her nearest competitor with 100 meters to go; Linden Wilde of New Zealand finished a distant second in 4:36.6. In this race, Decker broke the previous record of 4:22–which was set by Natalia Maracescu of Romania in 1979……….Good line by Westwood One’s James Lofton after punches were thrown by players during last weekend’s Saints/Cardinals game: “Larry Holmes would have been proud”……….A main difference between Division I and Division III basketball? This: After last weekend’s loss to Eastern CT, Southern Maine (Div. III) basketball coach Karl Henrikson possessed a lifetime record of 55-117–and still has a JOB……….Answer to trivia question: MIKE WOODSON–who averaged 18 points per game while also shooting an impressive 87% from the free throw line……….Happy birthday wishes go out to former NBA guard Tom Henderson–who blows out 58 candles on January 26th. A graduate of DeWitt Clinton High School in the Bronx who attended Hawaii, Henderson played nine years in the league between 1974 and 1983 as a member of the Hawks, Bullets, and Rockets–averaging 9.4 ppg for his career. Henderson accumulated 6,088 points in his career along with 3,136 assists; he was a member of the ‘77-’78 Bullets squad that captured the NBA title. Best wishes, Tom……….Finally, condolences go out to the family of College Hall of Fame golf coach Karl Tucker–who passed away recently due to complications stemming from congestive heart failure; he was 83. Tucker was hired to lead the Brigham Young golf program in 1961; from 1969 through 1991, his teams won 19 conference championships and had 17 Top 10 finishes in the NCAA Golf Championships. A few of the many fine players who benefited from Tucker’s coaching expertise included Johnny Miller, Keith Clearwater, Mike Weir and Bobby Clampett; he coached 69 All-Americans. Tucker has been recognized as one of the founding fathers of modern collegiate golf–along with late USC golf coach Stan Wood, Dave Williams of the University of Houston, and Jess Haddock of Wake Forest. Above all else, Karl Tucker was considered a true gentleman to those who were fortunate enough to know him. He is survived by his wife, Joanne, and four children; may Mr. Tucker rest in peace

Lazzari’s Sports Roundup – 1/16/10

Bob Lazzari — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:14:48 +0000

Has anyone out there seen ANYTHING uglier so far in 2010 than the UCONN women’s 91-24 thrashing of Seton Hall a couple of weeks ago–a game in which the losing squad shot 9-for-52 (17%) from the field? I haven’t seen anything THAT ugly since a former roommate of mine at Fordham tried dancing with the head cheerleader of the football team after imbibing 6 or 7 Heinekens at a school homecoming function……….TRIVIA QUESTION: In the history of the NBA, what player has had the highest three-point shooting percentage in a single season? Answer to follow……….Can you imagine if author Dara England married former NFL lineman Doug France, divorced, married Eastern CT. State Univ. basketball guard Ed Spain–divorced again–then married former MLB pitcher Mark Portugal? Fans of European geography would surely delight in her full married name of Dara England France Spain Portugal……….Book recommendation for the readers of this column: OUTSIDE THE LIMELIGHT: Basketball in the Ivy League– written by Kathy Orton of the Washington Post. The book provides keen insight into the love of basketball experienced by TRUE student-athletes–and also gives readers a better appreciation of this captivating conference. To gain more information about the author and this wonderful book in general, go to www.outsidethelimelight.com ……….This week in sports history, January 18, 1950: Cleveland Indians pitcher Bob Feller–a winner of 192 major league games–signs a new contract with the team for $45,000–taking a $20,000 pay cut at his OWN suggestion. Feller was unhappy with his performance over the previous two seasons–when he went a combined 34-19 while pitching close to 500 innings. Feller first appeared in a big league game as a 17-year-old back in 1936 and had enjoyed five 20-win seasons going into the 1950 major league campaign……….Good news and bad news for married men out there who happen to be N.E. Patriots fans. Bad news is the team embarrassed themselves at home last weekend; Tom Brady had the “deer in the headlights” look throughout the game and the players will soon be on the golf course. The GOOD news is that the game was over after the first quarter (24-0 lead for Baltimore)–giving you guys the rare opportunity to take your spouses out for a Sunday drive during football season. Yes, guys, think about it (without telling your ladies about the lopsided score): You could have scored some MAJOR points–in a backhanded sort of way–by demonstrating how spending quality time with them beats a football playoff game ANY day……….The “Unwatchable NBA” Update: How ’bout that game in Los Angeles last week between the Rockets and Lakers–where the two teams combined to shoot 6-for-33 (18%) from three-point range? If the Lakers’ front office people had any collective sense of humor at all, they would have given each fan a copy of Jimmy Breslin’s The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight upon exiting the Staples Center that evening……….Answer to trivia question: STEVE KERR–who made 89-of-170 three-point attempts during the 1994-’95 season for a sizzling percentage of .524……….I STILL say that actress Sharon Stone has aged MUCH better than baseball players such as Ken Griffey, Jason Varitek, or Gary Sheffield……….Happy birthday wishes go out to former major league pitcher Jon Matlack–who blows out 60 candles on January 19th. A native of West Chester, PA, Matlack pitched 13 seasons in the “bigs” between 1971 and 1983 for the Mets and Rangers–winning 125 games lifetime. Matlack was named the NL Rookie of the Year in 1972–a year in which he went 15-10 with an impressive 2.32 ERA; he was a three-time All-Star while with the Mets. His highest win total came in 1976 when he won 17 games for New York; he also tossed 30 shutouts over the course of his career. He fared well in the postseason, too–allowing just 12 hits in 25.2 innings while compiling a 1.40 ERA. Best wishes, Jon……….Finally, condolences go out to the family of former major league player/scout Stan Benjamin–who died recently on Cape Cod at the age of 95. A native of Framingham, MA, Benjamin was an outfielder for the Phillies and Indians between 1939 and 1945–appearing in 241 big league games. He later joined the Houston Astros as a scout in 1965–remaining with the team for nearly 40 years. He scouted American League East clubs for several seasons before working as Houston’s scouting supervisor for the Northeast. Benjamin was very instrumental in Houston’s acquisition of Jeff Bagwell from Boston (for pitcher Larry Anderson) in 1990 after having scouted Bagwell very closely. May Stan Benjamin rest in peace.

A Few Things One Columnist Would Like To See In 2010………

Bob Lazzari — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 22:04:00 +0000

* a new Tiger Woods doll; you wind it up, it drops its shorts, and immediately moves into a horizontal position
* MLB stadiums be required to have a “KA-CHING” sound played over the PA system whenever the home team’s highest-paid player is introduced
* just ONE MLB player–after a fellow player signs for gazillions–say, “That contract is &%$# RIDICULOUS!”
* the Fordham men’s basketball program show SOME signs of life
* a chewing gum that actually holds its flavor
* a full refund given to New York fans who attended the final game at Giants Stadium last weekend–an embarrassing 41-9 loss to Carolina
* John Calipari recruit a future Rhodes Scholar
* less salad and more chicken wraps inside the Travelers Championship media food tent
* former NFL stars O.J. Simpson and Rae Carruth square off in a jailhouse boxing match
* three consecutive nice days weather-wise here in New England
* troubled outfielder Milton Bradley just simply GO AWAY
* CT high schools/athletic directors be more media friendly
* another Tiger Woods doll; once it’s wound up, it juggles women
* a “quality start” in baseball consist of pitching at least seven innings while giving up two runs or less
* donuts with healthful benefits
* an MLB/NFL team’s home field known as Revolving Sponsor Stadium
* a future Barry Sanders born somewhere
* free Advil supplied to media members before covering high school football games on damp, 40-degree Friday evenings
* a future George Brett born somewhere
* a future Phillie Phanatic born somewhere
* responsible parenting at youth sporting events–or ANYWHERE, for that matter
* film clips of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders shown at each CT Sports Writers’ Alliance monthly luncheon
* Victoria’s Secret models WAITRESSING at the aforementioned luncheons
* the term “performance-enhancing drugs” show up in the newspaper less than five times per week
* more eloquent former football players turned analysts, i.e. Robert Smith
* LESS in-your-face/loudmouth/ex-player ”analysts” like Shannon Sharpe
* wide receiver Wes Welker be cloned
* more athletes put forth all-out efforts like one Rafael Nadal
* the size of the annual SI Swimsuit Issue TRIPLE
* golfer John Daly come out with an exercise video
* more happy-go-lucky baseball players like Nick Swisher
* a foot race between Nick Johnson and Jason Varitek prior to the first Yankees/Red Sox meeting
* more NFL wide receivers like Larry Fitzgerald–one who acts like he’s BEEN THERE BEFORE after scoring
* low-cost, anti-anxiety drugs for N.Y. Mets fans
* a new Tiger Woods-endorsed Gatorade flavor aimed at females called “U-Next?”
* a free luxury suite at each Yankee home game reserved for the homeless people of the Bronx
* Bohmart and Sacks (NYC bankruptcy lawyers) set up booths at both Yankee Stadium and Citi Field–just past the turnstiles
* free blood pressure screenings for Red Sox fans in-between innings of each Dice-K start
* Christie Brinkley fully divulge her anti-aging secrets
* Christie Brinkley seductively whisper those same secrets in a certain sports columnist’s ear
* a book about sideline behavior written by UCONN coach Jim Calhoun entitled “Fun With Four Letters”
* a basketball player like John Stockton born somewhere
* a future Pat Tillman born somewhere
* more national anthems sung like the one performed by the U.S. Naval Academy glee club prior to the recent Army/Navy game in Philadelphia
* yes, once again, less writer’s block
* ground finally broken on a “Steroid Era” wing at Cooperstown
* a “40-something” edition of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
* ski masks distributed to Oakland Raiders fans that say ”I Believed In JaMarcus Russell”
* finally, health, happiness and inner peace for the loyal readers of this column

Happy 2010, everyone!

Lazzari’s Sports Roundup – 12/27/09

Bob Lazzari — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 14:53:08 +0000

I truly believe that if Florida State football coach Bobby Bowden had aged HALF as well as actress Jane Seymour has, the Seminoles would have gone 10-2 this season instead of 6-6……….TRIVIA QUESTION: The 1991-’92 New York Rangers had FIVE players on the squad who scored 30 or more goals apiece. How many of these players can you name? Answer to follow……….ITEM: In ‘09, Florida Marlins pitcher Ricky Nolasco pitched LESS innings than the year before, won LESS games than he did in ‘08, and his ERA rose from 3.52 to 5.06 over that two-year stretch. The topper? Nolasco gets a $1.8 million RAISE–recently agreeing to a one-year contract. As I’ve said on many occasions, we’re ALL in the wrong business, folks……….Lazzari’s “Lopsided Score of the Week”: In a women’s college basketball game played last weekend, Southeastern Louisiana pummeled Millsaps 113-53; the winning squad outscored its winless opponent 63-26 in the second half of this laugher. If I’m the coach of the losing team, I simply utter three comforting words to my girls after the game: “HOLIDAY BREAK, ANYONE?”……….Can you imagine if LPGA golfer Catriona Matthew married former Michigan wrestler Steve Luke, divorced, married Univ. of Cincinnati chemistry professor Jim Mark–divorced again–then married former MLB pitcher Tommy John? Gospel followers would truly delight in her full married name of Catriona Matthew Luke Mark John……….This week in sports history, December 29, 1963: Chicago Bears QB Billy Wade runs for a pair of touchdowns–leading his team to a 14-10 victory over the N.Y. Giants in the NFL championship game played at Wrigley Field. The Giants’ title hopes took a major hit in the second quarter after quarterback Y.A. Tittle sprained his knee following a 14-yard TD pass to Frank Gifford; Tittle–who threw for 36 touchdowns during the regular season–ended up throwing FIVE interceptions on the day. Wade scored on runs of one and two yards in a game played in bitterly cold temperatures………..Gotta love Mike Stevens of the WDRC/102.9 (Hartford) morning show; when reporting last week that Tiger Woods was named PGA player of the year, Stevens added that Woods should also be deemed as the “juggler of the year”……….Answer to trivia question: MIKE GARTNER (40), TONY AMONTE (35), MARK MESSIER (35), SERGEI NEMCHINOV (30), and DARREN TURCOTTE (30)……….Congratulations go out to Kyle Penney of Columbia (CT)–who was recently named co-captain of the Southern CT State University baseball team (along with Branford’s Ed Bethke). I had the pleasure of coaching Penney (who attended Windham High) at the middle school level–a kid who simply worked hard and led by example. Above all, Penney has also been a solid STUDENT down through the years, too; best of luck Kyle……….Happy birthday wishes go out to former NBA player Sean Higgins–who blows out 41 candles on December 30th. Having played at Michigan, Higgins was selected by the San Antonio Spurs in the second round (54th overall) of the 1990 NBA draft and played a total of six seasons in the league. The amazing thing about Mr. Higgins? He played for a total of SIX teams during his short, six year career–spending time with San Antonio, Orlando, Golden State, New Jersey, Philadelphia, and Portland. Yes, the man should have landed a luggage contract during his playing days, right? One of the highlights of his modest career came as member of the 76ers during the ‘95-’96 season when he made 35-of-37 free throws for a sizzling percentage of .946. All told, Higgins played in a total of 220 NBA games; he is currently the basketball coach for Edmonds Community College in Edmonds, Washington. Best wishes, Sean……….Finally, condolences go out to the family of a friend and former coach of mine–Rich Grande of Derby, CT–who passed away recently at the age of 59. A multi-talented individual, Rich was mayor of Derby for three terms from 1986-’91; he also possessed a degree in education and worked as a respiratory therapist for over 30 years. One thing I’ll always remember about Mr. Grande is the unmatched love he had for kids; he coached at the youth level in both basketball and football and would always don a Santa Claus outfit when the occasion arose. Yeah, he was one of those guys you’d never forget if you were ever fortunate enough to cross paths with him; some mutual friends have called Grande the “ultimate nice guy.” Oh, how true. I guess I’d sum up his legacy by offering this: If you ever spent time talking with one Richard Grande, he didn’t make you feel like a friend; no, he made you feel like a BROTHER. My sincere condolences to his wife Mary Ann and the entire Grande family; in baseball terms, the “angels” just added a terrific bat to their lineup. Rest in peace, Rich.